I glanced down at my shoes, while shifting from foot to foot. Why had I said that. I could have kept my mouth closed and no one would have known. Why does God call us to be vocal and obvious about our beliefs? I know that sometimes it gives me joy, but other times I just feel humiliated, like I do today. I know I’m not wrong, but professors tend to use circular reasoning to go around in loops and tie your argument into a knot. A simple statement of clarification turns into a bout of beliefs.
My soul aches from trying to be real to myself and to my God. From trying to be myself at college, yet not being obnoxious to the people around me. My flesh does not want to be the outcast and the unwanted. Yet I know that God requires us to be LIVING OUT our faith. Our faith is dead without works. Our works speak volumes to our testimonies. My flesh wars against me. Raging against me with intentions to overcome.
I obviously try my hardest not to be obnoxious or get into pointless debates. These distract from the point of the Gospel and the cause of Christ. Christians so often get off on those side tangents, but forget the reason for their faith. The gospel should drive our lives to be radical Christians who are striving hard after God. Or at least, this is what I keep telling myself.
We must realize that these discouraging days come. The discouragement can generally come from three different places. Either from with in you and your own fleshly desires to be passive, etc. Or from outside of you: people laughing at you, professors demeaning you, etc. The discouragement may also come from satan: He speaks lies into your soul. He comes only to kill, steal and to destroy.
It is what we choose to do with the discouragement and disappointment. This is what makes us different. How do you handle someones angry stares and discouraging comments? This is what sets you apart. You can choose to use these discouraging comments to spur you on to do better, know your faith better, and live it better.
Have a beautiful day! xoxo